NOTHING !!

Its another beautiful morning with a cloudy sky. All dressed up i wait at the stop for my bus. I get in as it arrives, its all empty and closed "just like my heart" i think and sit beside a window. Busy with a message i fail to notice the guy behind me open the window in a quick move and a gush of chilly breeze hits my face and in a fleeting moment i smile unknowingly.

Surprised at my reaction i look out the window thinking and a mad rush of never fading memories come back to me. Memories both good and bad of happy times which are no more and will possibly never come again. As i pass through beautiful scenaries and fast moving vehicles i stare vapidly at them while flashes of memories come back to me.
My life was empty and depressing i din't have proper companions i was an introvert all closed up and empty. My classmates called me names and teased me, i felt so inferior that i built walls around that no one would be able to break...!
It was then that he came into my life and took the pains to break the walls not only to let himself in but to take me out. It was he who showed me what laughter was and proved to me that i mattered to the world. It was thru him that i learnt to have fun..to run, romp and dance in joy, to learn to be able to make friends, to break thru walls, to reach upto people in need and most importantly to love. To love unconditionally and never to expext any return.
Thru all my learning i've had amazing experiences as well as testing ones. He helped me thru my obstacles as i thru his. As years passed by we became inseparable or so i thought.
After a decade of togetherness i lost him as abruptly as i found him. he's taught me not to believe in after life because "we need to live in the moment'' he said, but now i want to believe.
Things have'nt changed much i have good friends...i know how to have fun....the only change is within me.....my emptiness....my nothingness.
I never really understood what people meant when they said nothing to questions which alwayz have answers....
I know now that just like the open window brought in a freshness...... so suddenly my emptiness too will be filled but till then. i will go on living happily "with what?" if you askme I will paste a smile across my face and with glazed eyes reply "NOTHING........nothing at all"
Because to me my nothing is everything that i am and will always be.......